final thoughts

i thought the day would never come. i was due march 3rd, but we thought surely he would be early. our best friends had even come from germany and portland to meet amos. lauren and jake had been in okc with us a week before he arrived, waiting patiently and taking me out for fun. john was up for the weekend and michael's mom had been here since march 1st. i was totally ready for this big boy to come.

that saturday morning i was overjoyed when my water "broke." i thought i was in that 10% of women whose water breaks before going into labor. i woke michael up and we started getting ready. my brother, john, was staying with us and i could tell he was getting antsy. we wanted to stay at home as long as possible and remain calm. john now jokes that "no one taught him all the things we learned in the bradley class!" i think the fact that i was straightening my hair and sat down to eat breakfast was the final straw. but he helped us get everything ready and stayed behind to clean up before heading to the hospital.

the hours of back labor were the most pain i've ever felt. everyone who helped rub my lower back with tennis balls had sore arms afterwards. we went into it thinking michael would be my only coach, but i needed a whole village of help and so did he! i am so thankful for everyone who put up with me yelling "harder!" at them as they rubbed : )

although i had to have a c-section, which was the farthest thing from our birth plan, we know god was watching over our every decision and our safety. the bradley class prepared us to make informed decisions and try every option before the final c-section. we understood everything the nurses and our doctor told us and were able to be at peace with the change of events. i was initially disappointed upon hearing the c-section news and really scared. who wants to be cut open?? however, the nurses and my doctor were amazing. so was the anesthesiologist...gross detail: i threw up when i got to the OR, but he held a bag for me and wiped my face, meanwhile assuring me that i wouldn't feel anything (i was constantly asking if i would).

we heard our sweet boy crying within 10 minutes and i was able to watch the nurses quickly clean him and hand him to michael. they often take c-section babies to the nursery for a while before bringing them back to their mothers, but that was not the case with us. michael got to hold amos while the doctor stitched me up, and within 20 minutes i got to hold him in my arms and kiss his little head.

a small part of me was a little skeptical that he "wouldn't fit", but he was born with a red mark across his head from where he was stuck on my pelvis. i'm not happy he had to have that, but it made me feel better that we could trust our doctor and nurses and that they honored our wishes and kept us safe.

i didn't feel defeated. i am proud of everything we did to bring a healthy baby into this world and grateful for god's provision. i think if we have more kids i will try a natural VBAC. i'm thankful for the opportunity to labor naturally and for modern technology and medicine. more importantly, i'm thankful for my healthy little boy who is absolutely precious. i kiss him all day : )

(photo by katelyn swanson photography)


Susan said...

I could not be more proud of you--not just the way you went through the birth process, but the way you live your life. Amos is most blessed that you are his mother and that he has Michael for a dad. He is the cutest baby I've ever seen and I'm so glad I get to be a part of his life from the very beginning!

The Kelley Family said...

I LOVED reading these birth stories from all 3 different views! Kinsley was "sunny side up" so I hear ya on how exhuasting the labor was... however, Kinsley was 2 lbs smaller than Amos.. so I can't imagine! I'm so incredibly proud of you and blessed to have you as a friend. It seems as though you've adjusted beautifully into motherhood :D Amos is so cute and is blessed to have such wonderful parents!!!

lauren said...

oh erin, i can't express how proud and happy i am that you're my friend. i love you so much and i look forward to watching your beautiful Amos grow. he's one lucky duck to have you as a mommy!

leslie.conner said...

I loved reading these stories, Erin! I'm so happy everything worked out so well and you have a beautiful healthy boy!!

allies and alleys said...

Soooo... I cried after reading each story. Haha. Love you guys so much! So happy for your beautiful little family.

summer said...

erin, i loved this series of posts!! thank you so much for sharing. i will read them over and over in the next couple months! so happy that amos is here :) i just know you are an amazing mama.